20 things I’ve learnt from never being in a relationship


  1. Everyone you date or interact with, will never ever be able to completely as fully accept you for who you are
  2. Your significant other will definitely let you down more than once.
  3. Ninety-nine percent of what fluffiness you feel is most probably hormones, but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it.
  4. To your surprise, you can actually control yourself very well and will not jump every attractive person you feel attracted to.
  5. The best partner you can be is an honest one.
  6. Communicate.
  7. But give time to communicate.
  8. Stop rushing everything, relationships “goals” aren’t a bucket list to check off
  9. Instead of worrying about whether it will stay or if you will get rejected in the end, learn to enjoy the relationship, whether friendship or not.
  10. If the other person doesn’t care about how you feel and if what they are doing affects you negatively whether emotionally, mentally or physically, nor you them, it might be a sign that it is getting toxic   
  11. Don’t hold too tightly to your romantic ideals and prepare to be disappointed if you intend to act out a Nicholas Sparks movie.
  12. The biggest treachery you can commit is to expect that they are anything less than perfect.
  13. Don’t beat yourself up too much for any mistakes you can make in a relationship. You’re in this together and forgiveness is a key point in this.  
  14. Sometimes, your partner is literally a small child, and you need to make space for that childishness. And when you need to throw your own tantrums, they will make that space for you too. Hopefully. 
  15. Don’t fill in the blanks of unhealthy with compromise.
  16. Do not be afraid to leave when it gets too far.
  17. Love is a constant conscious choice.
  18. Sometimes, at this point, you realise you need time off for yourself and it’s okay. Take that time off. Discover yourself again. Sometimes, you have gotten so lost and invested in another person that you forget who you are before you met them. And that’s okay. Before you can love someone else wholesomely, you have to love yourself wholesomely. Don’t be afraid to care for your original identity.
  19. Don’t lose your connections to other people and other friendships just because you have a relationship. There are more people to meet, more stories to hear than your partner that will help you grow as an individual and provide you with the support you need. Remember, your partner can’t give you everything, and it’s okay to find that in other people.
  20. To love is to learn. Sometimes you will be the student, sometimes you will be the teacher. Learn from each other. Be open to learning from each other. And like a teacher would, tolerate the other’s mistakes. Then, start again.

    In the end, it’s whether a choice if we want to learn in the school of life alone or with a partner. And remember, we have different learning styles. Despite everything, we still learn in the end. And that’s what matters.


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